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At the beginning of an affair the mate that is cheating is more
attentive to his spouse. This is due to guilt that the cheater may
be feeling at the time.
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After the affair has been going on for a while the person cheating
seems to find fault with the person he/she may be living with to
try to justify the affair in their mind.
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Cheating spouses may lose attention in the activities in the home.
They don't show interest in the livelihood of you or the children
that live in the home. Nor do they have any desires to do any
fix-ups to the home (i.e. lawn care, house repairs, etc.....)
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Intuition (gut feeling) that something is not right usually is a
sign you may have a cheating problem "when in doubt check
them out".
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Cheaters may have a change in sex life (i.e. more sex, less sex)
as well as unexplained sexual requests.
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The cheater has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in
the home, especially the mate (i.e. if he/she didn't act the way
they do, well then maybe I wouldn't be doing the things I do).
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Another sign is "Finances". "If someone wants to
play they have to pay" therefore keeping an eye on their
monies (i.e. check stubs, bank account balances, credit card
bills, etc...) would tell you whether their spending more money
than usual.
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Grooming habits will change. Cheaters will be more attentive to
their person (e.i. the way they dress, frequent bathing, physical
fitness, grooming of their hair, switching of colognes, etc...).
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Physical signs to look for to determine whether or not someone is
having an affair is lipstick on the collar, odors of
cologne/perfume on a shirt/blouse, checking underwear for
secretion stains. You can also check their wallets and/or the
glove compartments of their car to see if they left receipts,
pieces of paper with phone numbers, addresses, condoms, etc.
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You may want to monitor your spouse for two weeks. During this
time keep track of the mileage on their car. Monitor the time they
leave for work and the time they come home. Keep a calendar and
note the times, this should help you establish a pattern. If your
mate claims to be working late, check paycheck stubs to verify
this overtime.
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Be tuned in to home telephone calls when your mate has a tendency
to whisper or gives a quick answer and immediately hangs up or
when you answer the telephone and get an abrupt hang up.
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Many cheaters use cellular telephones to communicate with their
lovers. Should your mate have a cellular telephone you may want to
get a detailed billing of the calls made from the cellular phone
to determine whether a certain number has been frequently called.
A good area to start looking is for the first number called when
your mate first leaves for work and the same number called again
right before they return home.
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Female cheaters are more discreet in the selection of a lover .
This is most likely because of their concern of Sexually
Transmitted Disease's (STD's). Most females are looking for a
longer lasting relationship rather than a "one night
stand". In past years men were the aggressors, in society
today, with the increase of women in the work force, women have
become equally aggressive.
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When a female is having an affair she tends to have more of a
"glow" about her.